Melvin Durai Humour Column

Olympics triggers protests, boycotts and name-calling

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have put the spotlight on China, bringing attention to the conflict in Tibet and all the human rights abuses. Protesters disrupted Olympic torch relays in San Francisco and other western cities, many of them holding signs with...

Published Mon, Apr 04 2008 12:02 PM by Funny Columns

A vacation you're guaranteed to enjoy

Dear Parent, Please forgive this intrusion on your time. I know how busy and challenging life can be when you have children. Kids are such a joy! I have three little ones myself and let me tell you, when I'm at work, I'm constantly looking at...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:15 PM by Funny Columns

Look up the dissidents, the Olympics are coming

As the 2008 Summer Olympics approach, many people are scratching their heads and asking, "How in heaven's name was Beijing selected as the host city?" The answer is simple: Beijing was chosen because Baghdad was unavailable. Actually, the...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:13 PM by Funny Columns

Obama belongs to all of us

I have a message for my African-American friends: Stop claiming Barack Obama as one of yours. He's not one of yours. He's one of OURS. In case you haven't checked, Obama isn't just black. He's half-black, half-white and half-Asian...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:12 PM by Funny Columns

The billionaire's house that's helping everyone

What kind of house does a billionaire build? Well, if you're Bill Gates, you build a $100 million, high-tech house that's full of modern amenities, such as a 17-by-60-foot swimming pool that plays music underwater, a reception hall that seats...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:10 PM by Funny Columns

Too old to rule? Only if you drool

Fidel Castro ruled Cuba for almost 50 years, but the 81-year-old is ailing, so it's not surprising that the presidency of the country has been officially passed to his youthful brother Raul, who is only 76. Raul's top vice president, Jose Ramon...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:05 PM by Funny Columns

Scientific research does wonders for our lives

Where would we be without scientific research? Six feet under, probably. I say "probably" because some of us might still be moving around, the ones who've had their ashes scattered in the ocean. Yes, scientific research is vital to our existence...

Published Wed, Apr 04 2008 3:02 PM by Funny Columns

The hardest job in the world

Until I became a parent, I didn't know how challenging it could be. I thought it would be easy, like driving in New York City or getting all my teeth pulled. I thought I would just make the rules -- "Don't forget to tidy your room before...

Published Thu, Feb 02 2008 10:24 AM by Funny Columns

A fight that's making boxing history

Are you enjoying the big fight? I am. I lost interest in boxing in the 1990s, soon after Mike Tyson fell from grace, but I'm enjoying the sport once again, thanks to all the jabs and fancy footwork in this epic Obama-Clinton clash. The first round...

Published Thu, Feb 02 2008 10:18 AM by Funny Columns

Don't say no-no to the Nano

Here's some exciting news: The world's cheapest car will soon be hitting the roads of India. Tata Motors recently unveiled the Nano, a car that will surely make many middle-class people happy, particularly Hyundai owners, who will now feel like...

Published Tue, Jan 01 2008 3:26 PM by Funny Columns

2008 will be a historic year

As the new year begins, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish my loyal readers much happiness in 2008. I hope the year brings good health and prosperity to both of you. It's going to be a historic year, a year in which we'll see the first...

Published Tue, Jan 01 2008 3:19 PM by Funny Columns

The children and the couch, a stained relationship

My wife and I are in the market for a new couch. And by that I mean that she's looking for a piece of fine furniture that will enhance the decor of our living room, matching the other furnishings and creating an atmosphere of warmth and comfort, while...

Published Tue, Jan 01 2008 3:16 PM by Funny Columns

Why gift when you can regift?

If someone gives you a handbag you don't particularly like, what should you do with it? If you have a gift receipt or know which store it came from, you might be able to return it. But if you don't, you have three options: (1) Donate it to a thrift...

Published Tue, Dec 12 2007 10:04 PM by Funny Columns

Dear Santa, I'm on your side

Dear Santa, It’s been almost 365 days since I wrote to you and I want to begin by telling you that the gift you brought me last Christmas just didn’t cut it. I don’t know where you picked up that lousy beard trimmer. I guess it was silly of me to expect...

Published Tue, Dec 12 2007 10:01 PM by Funny Columns

Hit the border, the dollar is up

If you just inherited 100,000 dollars from a long-lost relative, you’d better hope it’s from the right country. If it’s Canadian dollars, you can throw a big party; if it’s American or Australian dollars, you can pop some champagne; and if it’s Zimbabwean...

Published Sat, Nov 11 2007 12:16 PM by Funny Columns