Melvin Durai Humour Column

The Olympics give us reason to hope

Funny Columns — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:15:01 GMT

If you're like most people, you didn't watch enough of the Beijing Olympics, partly because there were just too many events happening at the same time and partly because, having a full-time job, you had to spend a little time every morning coughing...(read more)

The shot heard around the world

Funny Columns — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:41:53 GMT

In case you missed the news, in case you were sleeping under a rock or just got released from Guantanamo, India won its first-ever individual gold medal at the Beijing Olympics, causing 1.1 billion people to jump up and down with joy, touching off a minor...(read more)

Good spelling saves some yelling

Funny Columns — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:39:27 GMT

Because I'm Indian, many people assume I'm good at spelling. After all, six of the last 10 winners of the National Spelling Bee are of Indian descent and three of them are now making millions on the PSA (Professional Spelling Association) tour...(read more)

Swap a kidney, but don't try to buy one

Funny Columns — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:38:28 GMT

Anyone want to swap a kidney? No, I don't need one, but Lois Wilson's husband, Dave, does. The British Columbia woman recently placed an ad on the classified site Craigslist, seeking another couple to swap kidneys with. Basically, if you need...(read more)

Appreciate Mandela while you can

Funny Columns — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:37:13 GMT

Nelson Mandela will turn 90 soon and, much to my dismay, his birthday has not been declared an international holiday. I have no choice but to declare it a personal holiday and spend it thinking about Mandela and the great example of his life, while sipping...(read more)

Column: Letter of appreciation to Tiger Woods

Funny Columns — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 05:26:11 GMT

Dear Tiger, My name is Baldev Singh (no relation to Vijay ) and I too play golf. You may have heard of me. Last month, I won the prestigious Iraq Open. Let me tell you, it was an amazing experience. I've never played on a course with so many bunkers...(read more)

Obama makes history in more ways than one

Funny Columns — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:06:41 GMT

Barack Obama has apparently clinched the Democratic Party's nomination for president, apparently gained enough delegates to ensure that he will run against John McCain to see who will spend the next four years looking totally incompetent. I say "apparently"...(read more)

Guidelines for travelers entering America

Funny Columns — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 22:03:27 GMT

A U.S. Appeals Court has ruled that airport officials do not need "reasonable suspicion" to download data from a traveler's laptop or personal electronic storage device and keep it indefinitely. Coincidentally, the Department of Homeland...(read more)

Nothing nice about rice price

Funny Columns — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:58:40 GMT

Rice is extremely popular in our household -- and I'm not talking about Condoleezza . I'm talking about the type of rice that looks warm and elegant at a dinner party. My wife cooks rice almost every day. And when she isn't cooking rice, she's...(read more)

Olympics triggers protests, boycotts and name-calling

Funny Columns — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 17:02:15 GMT

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have put the spotlight on China, bringing attention to the conflict in Tibet and all the human rights abuses. Protesters disrupted Olympic torch relays in San Francisco and other western cities, many of them holding signs with...(read more)

A vacation you're guaranteed to enjoy

Funny Columns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:15:20 GMT

Dear Parent, Please forgive this intrusion on your time. I know how busy and challenging life can be when you have children. Kids are such a joy! I have three little ones myself and let me tell you, when I'm at work, I'm constantly looking at...(read more)

Look up the dissidents, the Olympics are coming

Funny Columns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:13:35 GMT

As the 2008 Summer Olympics approach, many people are scratching their heads and asking, "How in heaven's name was Beijing selected as the host city?" The answer is simple: Beijing was chosen because Baghdad was unavailable. Actually, the...(read more)

Obama belongs to all of us

Funny Columns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:12:10 GMT

I have a message for my African-American friends: Stop claiming Barack Obama as one of yours. He's not one of yours. He's one of OURS. In case you haven't checked, Obama isn't just black. He's half-black, half-white and half-Asian...(read more)

The billionaire's house that's helping everyone

Funny Columns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:10:01 GMT

What kind of house does a billionaire build? Well, if you're Bill Gates, you build a $100 million, high-tech house that's full of modern amenities, such as a 17-by-60-foot swimming pool that plays music underwater, a reception hall that seats...(read more)

Too old to rule? Only if you drool

Funny Columns — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:05:03 GMT

Fidel Castro ruled Cuba for almost 50 years, but the 81-year-old is ailing, so it's not surprising that the presidency of the country has been officially passed to his youthful brother Raul, who is only 76. Raul's top vice president, Jose Ramon...(read more)