Mubita Nawa

8 Ways to Free Your Mind

2008-05-07T21:50:00Z

One of my favorite movies is THE MATRIX. In Chapter 15 in the first matrix, there is a scene where Neo, played by Keanu Reeves, and Morpheus, played by Lawrence Fishburne, have a match up. It is in this scene that Morpheus begins to condition the mind of Neo to believe and to fight like the 'messiah' he is. "I know Ku-nfu" says Neo. "Then show me!" Counters Morpheus.

Today I want to talk about your mind and how you need to free it in order for it to function at its maximum capacity. Your mind is crying out; "Is this all you can do? Drive faster, think faster, be who you were born to be."

Someone once said, "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Here are the eight ways.

Master Your Mind

I have observed that a mind needs a master. It was not born to be 'free' per say. When a mind is too free, it encapsulates so many things that may end up damaging the body in which it resides. The best way to free a mind is to give it boundaries in which it must operate. Boundaries that are noble, good, fulfilling and wherever possible, pure.

Introduce Your Mind to New Things

Mastering a mind does not mean depriving it of all its pursuits. It is flaunting superiority only in terms of ideas. Minds dislike terminal obnoxiousness and prefer eternal bliss. Minds distaste life imprisonments. They would much rather be in an open air field where they can absorb and infect anything that is new and liberating.

Trust Your Mind

There are too many people who believe in other minds except their own. They tell you how brilliant you are but have never said that to their own minds.

Keep Your mind Occupied

Loneliness is a feeling of emptiness. It is a feeling accustomed to all humans. It cripples some more than others. The difference lies in whether we keep our minds busy or empty. At all costs, always find something to think about. If I meet you next time and I ask you, "What are you thinking about?" You must never say "Nothing".

Reward Your Mind

You have heard the saying, "Too much work makes John a dull boy." Was he John or Paul? Anyway, you get my drift.

Find time to get off your horse and take a walk. Find time to slow your row just a little. It is OK to have a good time somewhere. It is OK to watch a movie at the theatres. If you deprive your mind of moderated rewards, it will grind to a halt.

Beware of Stereotyped Minds

Unlock your mind from prejudice. Indeed there are some social phenomenal that demand an opinion. Indeed 1+1=2. But there are times you have to tell your mind 1+1=3. We call that synergy.

Never Judge People

Minds must never be judgmental components that are busy sentencing people to death. They must be instead hallways busy adjudicating amnesty, pardons and sermons of reconciliation. We have enough things dividing and separating us. Allow your mind to be a unifier.

Allow Your Mind to Keep Some Secretes

You do not have to tell everyone what you have done, where you have been and what you always think about. Within your mind, there must be one or two things you must never tell anyone. Don't even tell the priest at the confession box. Only tell them to God and seek His forgiveness. A lot of us broadcast everything we have ever done, said or thought about. In the end, we walk around in humiliation because a great mind likes to keep a secret or two.

Conclusion

You can dress well, smell good and look elegant. Yet what good is all of that if you have a wasting mind. The best thing we can ever do for our lives is to poses a healthy, developing and adventurous mind. Free your mind.

Your friend always,
Mubita C. Nawa

Does Life Begin at 40?

2008-05-05T19:05:00Z

As I interact with more and more people, I begin to ask this question; does life really begin at forty? Is this a proven myth or is it one of those sayings that are passed on from one generation to another without people realizing the depth of what they are saying?

I am writing today to demystify maturity in human beings, to debunk any misnomers, and to inspire the young and the old all in one breath.

The Theory of Numbers

I believe that life has a certain bearing on the number eight. At the age of eight in many cultures, a child is considered a grown up. In some traditions a child is expected to stop wetting his bed at that age. Psychologists say a child's behavior, personality and in some cases habits, are all formed by the time they are five. Add three years to that and you eliminate all doubt that this child is fully grown.

Let us now introduce another cycle to that; it is the cycle of the number ten. As a life coach, I have proved (though non-scientific) that ten has the greatest impacts on human chronology. There are a hundred years in a century and a thousand years in millennium. Each of those numbers is divisible by ten. You could argue that it is in tens that we count as well as we think.

Ten plus eight equals eighteen. This formula leads us to subsequent numbers of 28, 38, 48, 58, and 68". I deliberately end at 68 because according to the world fact book (as of July 2007) the life expectancy of men is 64 years while that of women is 67 years.

If you look at those ages, they bring memories in your mind that you have to live with. Another way to look at this effect of the number ten would be to look at our ages starting at ten years old. These ages would read "10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, and 70". With all due respect, how many of us remember what we did at 20 years old more than we remember what we did at 18? Or for that matter which age do you recall the most between 30 and 28? As much as I agree that my 30th birthday was memorable, it was my 18th and my 28th birthdays which were extremely impact ful.

Why 40?

Why do some people say 40 is the age? What is it that you would do at forty that you have not done between the ages of 18 and 38? Is it marriage, work, adventure or is it just another excuse for delayed gratification? Someone once said with irony, "If life begins at 40, so does arthritis and the habit for telling the same joke twice to the same people."

In my view ladies and gentlemen, life does not begin at forty. Life begins at conceptualization in our mother's wombs. After that, we are introduced to different developmental stages that pose different challenges and experiences. It is how we handle these challenges that determine how successful we are in life. The phrase "Life begins at forty" is similar to saying "School begins in grade twelve". Imagine going to Munali Secondary School with a big lunch box, and HB pencil, and two books with big lines; one for Math and the other for English. When you reach the secondary school you tell the teacher, "This is my first day at school. In all my life I have never been to school." The teacher may commend you for your courage but will ridicule you for coming to the wrong class.
Starting life at the age of forty is similar to showing up for school at the wrong time and in the wrong class. To say "Life begins at forty" is to suggest that it is at forty that we awaken to opportunities, conquer challenges, and embrace the full meaning of life.

What Next?

Men or women who start their lives at forty are people who are late in maximizing their opportunities. So what do you do to avoid falling into this excuse? You plan your life ahead of time. You plan to reach forty before you even reach forty.

What do you do then if you are forty and you feel like a failure? Well join the club. Everyone feels like a failure every now and then. Even people who are number one sometimes feel life number last. That does not mean they are last. Failure is sometimes a perception of us yet rarely is failure the reality. If you are forty and you are burdened by regret, I say shake it off and move on. You cannot account for all the water that has gone down the drain. Embrace your future. The past is what it is. Not many of us can do much about it. What we can do a lot about is our future. The future starts today. After all, by the age of forty, you ought to be oozing with wisdom not regret. One man once said; if all the people were to bring their personal problems on one hip, every man and woman would walk away with their problems as they would realize that they were not that bad.

Life does not begin at forty; life is like a horse that is ready to be ridden. It is saddled and cleaned. Brushed and trained with the freshest of horse shoes. It is ready for you to ride it. This ride begins when you jump on that horse and ride. That is when life begins. Now jump on your horse and go for a smooth, and adventurers ride. I will be in the stables waiting for you because you are the world's greatest jockey.

The Perfect Man; Where to find him!

2008-04-16T13:48:00Z

I received a call from a young lady who needed me to find her 'the perfect man'. This lady was dynamic in nature and was a focused person. She trusted me to get her 'the perfect man'. Honestly, she is not the only lady who has asked me to find her the perfect man. Sometimes I get tempted to start a dating service. I know so many ladies who are great. I also know some great men.

Is there such a thing as a perfect man?

For the past one month, I have been conducting one-on-one coaching with some of my clients. We have been discussing issues that surround the 'mindset' of a man. Women generally find it easy to talk. But men take a while to 'take off'. As my private coaching sessions with the men proceeded, I discovered that these men where great men. None of them was perfect (not even me), but a lot of them were a few inches away from perfection.

As word went around about these sessions, people outside this company demanded that we have a public event where they can come and listen to this life changing session. As you know my performance gap between conceptualization and realization is narrow. We have put together a live motivational talk called The Psychology of Men. This is a motivational talk designed to motivate the man and the woman he loves. It is a fireside-chat that is honest, intimate and real. For centuries, men have been denied the chance to be expressive. I believe men are some of the gentlest species one can find. They are sensitive and have emotions too.

Finally we have a chance to highlight the issues that affect us as men. We will talk, cry if we must, and we will laugh. We will hug our women and we will let them know publicly that we treasure them. If my private sessions are anything to go by, then this event will be explosive.

We are also inviting the women to come (single or married). Women must understand how a man thinks feels and trusts. This event will also deal with other generic topics such as effective ways to relate to the opposite sex, how to balance the soft, the hard and the neutral side of a man. We will also look at redefining manhood and womanhood. Finally we will examine the issue of personal debt and how to balance that. I believe there is no way you can be effective in life if you have uncontrolled personal debt. This is motivational speaking to a new level.

Does the perfect man exist? No he does not. What exists is men who can become perfect in their thinking. Men who are refined by the many experiences that they have faced. Often these men have learnt life the hard way. There are even some single women who would much rather go out with a married man because some married men have been refined and processed by someone else. Often women who get in between other peoples relationships are women who do not have faith in themselves that they can attract great men. There are also some men who would rather get into a relationship with a married woman. This woman is cultured trained and refined and is the way she is because of the patience of another man.

I hope you can find time to join us at this event. It will be engaging, interactive and revealing. Come one come all.

Call Moses in Lusaka for tickets. Moses number is 0977696273. Moses is at Arcade's shopping center. Thanks and we will see you in a couple weeks.

What are You Living for?

2008-04-16T12:57:00Z

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. If you think I have been so busy, that is an understatement. I have been extremely busy. I have been in the Capital City Lusaka for the past two weeks. Last week on Friday I rushed to Livingstone to see my wife Nsama. Boy was it great to see that wonderful beautiful lady. I know she often does not want me to talk about her too much in my newsletters but I cannot help it. I have a wonderful wife and I want to tell all of you that I love her and I am truly blessed to know her.

As I made it into Lusaka two nights ago, I placed a call to my sons Pumulo and Sepiso. It was so great to speak with them. They are such wonderful sons. I broke the news to Pumulo and Sepiso that I would not be returning to America to see them for a while. But that they will come and visit us here in Zambia. At the end of the conversation, I asked each one of them what they want to come and find when they visit Zambia. Pumulo said a Basket ball court, Sepiso said a swimming pool, and they both added a football field. You can tell they are energetic boys.

Let me just be sentimental here for a second; I miss my sons. This is the first time they have been away from me for this long. I have not seen them for the past 9 months. I remember many a night when I was still single I would sit by their bed and pray. I would ask God for a great future. There were mornings when I would wake them up to dress them and they would still be half asleep. Then I would cry. One of them would wake up and ask me why I was crying. I would just say because I loved them. This was true. But even more was the fact that I had been through too much with them.

Today as I look at them and speak with them, I can only say PRAISE GOD.

In the next few weeks, I will be in Kitwe, Lusaka, Mfuwe and many other cities. I tell you I am busy. I am living my dreams. I will be away from the people I love most; my family. That is why, last week I dashed to Livingstone to see my wife as we await the birth of our little daughter. I just had to see the candy in my sugar and the candle in my Christmas tree. In the next several weeks and months, I will be running across Africa and Europe spreading a message of empowerment and hope. Just over the past three months, we have touched more lives than we touched in all of the first six months of last year. In the past 9 months alone, we have had more people join our network worldwide than did in the first four years of this organization. We are touching more people internationally each day and are now in nearly 100 countries.

Why do I do this? Why do I live?

For God first. Then for my family.

My task now is to make sure that by the time those boys land in Zambia, that I will have that swimming pool and that basket ball court and soccer field. My task is to make sure when my wife says she is "Mrs. Mubita C. Nawa", that the world will say, "Nice to meet you." Quite honestly, I do not need another pair of pants. I do not need any material possesses per say. But what I need is to make sure when my children's time to go to college comes, that they can go to any university they want anywhere in the world without need for scholarships. I want to make sure when my wife wants to visit a friend in Australia, that she can go at a moment's notice. As for me, I have already experienced nearly 90% of my dreams. And I am only 32 years old. I no longer live for me now, I live for others.

What about you my? Who are you living your life for? I hope it is not you. For to do so would be to cheapen the meaning of life. It would be to compromise the premise upon which martyrdom is defined. To do so would be to half a cake that was already been cut by life itself. From today onwards, live for others (special people in your life). Enjoy yourself as you please. But the greatest of all thrills, is to have dreams that will carry on even after you are gone. Our days on earth are still numbered. But those of our loved ones, must just now begin.

Happy living and know that it is your prayers we covet most.

Unmerited Favor

2008-04-01T13:53:00Z

In a world where justice must prevail, one wonders what we must do with favor. It is tempting for me to assume that we are all familiar with favor, its implications as well as its efficacy. So for the sake of repetition and emphasis, allow me to state what the word favor means to me.

Favor is an act of kindness that gives preferentiality with the aim of bolstering the overall position of the recipient. It is not my intention to suggest that favor is somewhat a 'pity party' act or a lifeline for the dying, the faint hearted or the despondent. There are times when favor is granted to the strong, the standing and the established. To these people, favor is not a lifeline but an anchor.

The unmerited part of my title must be interpreted directly and translated in the most obvious of ways. In this case, I am referring to undeserved, unwarranted and sometimes unfair favor.

Buscaglia once said "To laugh risks appearing a fool, to love risks rejection, to live risks dying, but the greatest risk, is to risk nothing."

This week, I want to inform you that you are favored. I am here to tell you that there are three things you need to seriously work on:-

Your skill (Technical skill and soft skills)
Your path to success (determining exactly what you want to do in your life and start working your way there)
Unmerited favor (positioning yourself to be liked or moved in a strategic/advantageous position)

Am I in any way suggesting that we do not need skills or capacity development? Not at all. Favor, especially favor that is unmerited, is what you need to keep you successful. In a world where there is so much competition and so much development, how do you ensure that you are chosen first? How do you ensure that you are not passed by?

Favor therefore distinguishes you from the rest. It causes you to have business when everyone else has none. Unmerited favor may not open many doors, but it ensures that those that are open stay open. Those places where there are no doors suddenly attract new doors.

Let me state that this is your year of unmerited favor. You shall receive promotions that are long overdue as well as those that you do not deserve. You shall be invited to sit with kings and queens from afar. You shall be blessed immeasurably far beyond what everyone else gets. Start thinking favor, and I mean unmerited favor. Start enjoying and preparing for more blessings in your life, business, and family. You will be picked first before everyone else. You will be a true leader walking on your roadmap to true leadership.

Thank you for reading and I will talk to you next week.

Created by Design

2008-03-25T13:33:00Z

In architecture, we say "Form follows function." This statement simply means, whatever is, was designed the way it was because of its function.

I have had the privilege of meeting some of you in my meetings. Some of you I have not yet met. Yet if you spent a few minutes with me, you will get an idea what kind of a person I am. I can almost argue that if you read Stand CHAMPIONS frequently, you can say you know me.

Yet I have not always been like this. Growing up in the back streets of Zambia, self esteem was a rare commodity. Confidence was a word I never knew of until I was fourteen. Focus was what you did with the Camera. Joy was a name of a dish washing liquid and purpose was for hunters. Speed was for riders of cars and motorized bikes. Beauty was for actresses and actors. Intelligence was for politicians and wealth for the Indians. Love was a word the preacher used only to describe God.

Am I proud of my upbringing? YES I AM. Are there areas in my childhood where I could have used a better blanket, a better friend, a better school? You bet it.

In the middle of this upbringing, I was a little lost boy who did not know me. I knew where the market place was, where the trash bin was and where my toys where. But I did not know the center of my design. I had no clue who Mubita C. Nawa was. Often as I got into fights, there was always a word that broke my heart; "Mubita why are you like this?" Every time someone asked me those words, I felt as though a hot knife was inserted into my lungs. I felt shame, embarrassment and guilt all in one breath.

By the time I was sixteen, I realized I had missed the purpose of my design. Today some sixteen years later I have demystified my purpose. I finally understand why I am the way I am. I have found a new sense of confidence that I know even if I had to share it with the world, there would still be enough left over for the next two generations. I can finally say, "I know Mubita C. Nawa and I am so in love with him."

Do you know you? Do you understand you for who you are? Or are you one of those people who are busy walking around lost and confused. Could you be overshadowed by the shadows of the people you adore? I say come out of such darkness.

You were created by design and you are the world's greatest. You are too special to be imitated. Be comfortable in your skin. Be crazy about you. Love your songs if you are a singer. Enjoy your own meals if you are a chef. Whatever you do, fall in love with the person behind that work; YOU. No one can love you like you can. No one can make love to you like you can (excuse the analogy). You are it and that is what matters. I hope you get my drift here because I feel like shouting. Somebody better slap me coz I feel some love up in here.

I Believe In You

2008-03-25T13:12:00Z

How is everyone doing? I am great. I had a very busy week last week. We held our Live Motivational talk in Livingstone entitled Realizing the Dreams of Your Life. It was "off the chain". Thanks to everyone that attended the sold out event. YOU ALL ROCK!

Today my purpose for writing this letter is two-fold; 1. I want to affirm the leader in you 2. I want to remind you of a principle that I would want you to follow dearly and closely. The issues we face in life are many, but it is how we deal with them that makes as distinctively successful.

Let me start with the first principle.

Principle # 1: TAKE STOCK OF YOUR ACTIONS OR ELSE YOU MAY BE KILLING YOURSELF

I want you to know that you are a rare commodity. You posses a special gift that the world loves. They want to utilize you to an extent that they do not mind abusing you. And unless you say something, no one will notice that you are tired and exhausted. You may be a mother who is always cooking and tending to your family. If you do not take any rest, it is your problem. May be not 100%, but people only do to you what you allow them to.

You may be a father who is always working and fending for others, but if you do not stop to take care of you, no one will. I have always believed in this principle. But this week I have finally said, ENOUGH.

Since I came to Zambia last June, I have been so busy. I am speaking literally every week. I am at conferences, workshops, and media appearances. I have had some very wonderful support from some people and some organizations. I thank them so much.

But there have been a few people who I have noticed would rather use my name to publicize their events and invite me. Then when the event is done, they won't pay me not even for my meal. I am not saying I do this strictly for money. But a little gratitude goes a long way.
So from this week only, I will not be running just because someone has coughed or sneezed. I will only go to places where I am celebrated and taken care of. How do you invite me as a speaker and you do not even know where I slept, what I eat, or if I had fuel? Those stages in my life are gone.

I am telling you this so you too can see some of the abuse that people may want to subject you to. I say to you today, "If it is not worth doing, then don't do it."

From today onwards, only do things that are worth your actions. The days of singing songs just to come up with a CD are gone. The days of running businesses even when you are a loss making machine are gone. Take care of your actions or else people will abuse you.

Principle # 2: AFFIRMATION

I believe in you. I love you and I want you to succeed. One of the reasons I love Stand CHAMPIONS newsletter is that it is personal. I can tell you the truth as it is and I know you can handle it. You are special and unique. You are a wonderful person and you have been through a lot. Never give up. You have come too far to be abused and misused by people. Never allow failures to determine your destiny. It is OK to say no. It is OK to say pay upfront before the service. It is OK to protect yourself and your business.

I will end here for today. Always know that you have a friend in me and a fan. I may not always reply to all your e-mails. But know that I love you and I am praying for you. Will talk to you next week my special friend.

Balancing Personal Power: Do's & Don'ts

2008-03-11T16:47:00Z

Good afternoon everyone. It is a great day here in Zambia. Today I want to give you some tips that I believe will transform the way you balance power.

There is a fight in the world and it is a fight for power. Like it or not, you are in a struggle for power. You struggle for power with your children, your spouse, your neighbors, your co-workers and your family.

I define power as the ability to control others (good or bad). At the end of each day, the one who controls people is the one who wins. In democracy, dictatorships, communist nations, monarchs, clergy and all other forms of government are not exempt from power struggles. Here are some tips I want to share with you in no particular order.

1. REFRAIN FROM POWER.

Never seem too eager for power. The more you look like you don't want power, the more of it you will attract.

2. SALUTE POWER.

Always recognize those in power. One of the greatest ways to attract power is to let it shine on those upon whose shoulders it presently rests.

3. BE A STUDENT.

Study power before you can contain it. Like a fight or a battle, you must know both your enemies and your friends. If you want to be powerful, study and know the corridors through which power walks.

4. TRAIN FOR POWER.

Exercise power right where you are. If you are a kindergarten teacher, flex your power there first before you can flex it as a president of a University. The pleasures of power flow at various levels yet their satisfaction is similar.

5. IDENTIFY YOUR POWER enhancers.

Every one that has held power, from Napoleon to Cleopatra, Cesar to Hitler; they have all understood that power flows better in a system. Power is not singular. It flows in a system.

6. ELIMINATE SHORT-CIRCUITS.

Focus your attention on what works. If it works, keep it. Yet there are times when some things do not work. Eliminate these and make sure they do not corrupt your power.

7. DEFINE YOUR POWER.

Know your sphere of influence. A great teacher maybe all you can become. A great politician maybe your top notch. You may not know your limits though until you give try. Defined power is easier to manage than power that is everywhere. Trying to do too much at one time is a quick way to scatter our power.

8. ENJOY POWER.

I am sure you can attest to the fact that power is sweet. It is influence after all.

9. STAY SOBER.

Never let power get to your head. Realize that power is temporal. We are mortal and we attain power through jurisprudential steps, roles, positions and appointments.

10. HARVEST MORE POWER.

Do not be happy with a little power. It's ok to have power. But power tends to be greater when we develop it more and more. I am not asking you to be selfish. What I am saying is that power is greater and easier to work with at a larger scale. You may be a motivational speaker for your wife and children. Why not take it further than your home.

You are a powerful person. Don't be scared of power. It is Gods currency for leadership transactions. I am proud of you and I will talk to you soon next week. Thanks for being a loyal reader of Stand CHAMPIONS.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

TO ALL THE PEOPLE IN LIVINGSTONE:-

Do not forget about the live motivational talk at New Fairmount Hotel this Saturday March 15th at 18:30hrs. It will be a great day and we want to see you there. Thank you.

How to Deal With Failure

2008-03-03T19:04:00Z

At the bottom of all our experiences, we have one thing in common; we have all failed our way to success. The poor and the rich are both familiar with the intimacies of failure.

One of the leading American 20th-century dramatist Arthur Miller's most renowned work, Death of a salesman (1949), tells the story of a traveling salesman Willie Loman, who experiences frustration and failure as he reflects upon his life. This great play is now a must see for all professional salesmen and women. It reveals the emotions that Loman went through. Sadly for Loman, he killed himself because he could not deal with failure.

Failure can destroy if permitted. Yet when you critically look at matters, failure is an energy that is released into the stratosphere by spiritual forces to obscure our true potential. If you have a negative attitude, you will give failure permanent residence. If you say to yourself, "I am better than my circumstances", then you will give failure an eviction notice.

You may say to me, "Mubita, I am not a failure; I have never failed in my life." Well good for you. The bad news is you are officially a failure because you have failed to recognize the fact that you have failed before. We have all failed before.

Less Brown in his book "It's not over until you win" says, you must be so determined to win that you fail your way to success. He argues that if you fail, fail forward. John Maxwell in his book "The attitude of winning" chastises the leader to be determined to win no matter the setback. He argues that everyone who has ever succeeded at anything, failed first.

When I wrote my seventh book, "The roadmap to true leadership", I added a chapter in there called how to reach your point of no return. Most people, who give up after a minor setback, are generally people who have nothing to lose. There are some of us who have so much to lose if we ever give up. We have come so far that we have reached our points of no return. We are so close to where we are going that there is no sense in turning back now. Therefore, the attitude with which you must address failure must not be that of repugnance, aversion of disgust. Rather you must embrace failure with the sweet arms of a student of life.

You must say to failure, "Hey man. Great to see you. What lessons do you bring me this time?" As absurd as it may sound, failure is actually great. If you fail at something, it means you are such a teachable soul that life has sent you a gift wrapped in unwelcome wrapping paper.

I met a single mother of four children recently who narrated to me how they had failed in their previous business. I listened attentively and then I said to them, "that was not failure. That was life telling you to manage your finances a little better." She went back and tried it again. It worked. A young businessman was struggling with some critical business decision. They cried and told me how devastating it was for them. We pulled some lessons from there and today, this young man is doing very well.

Never despise failure. Sometimes it is great to have a few former failures in your life. It keeps you focused.

Finally, learn to prepare for success through failure. If you are planning a venture, you must ask yourself this question; "what if it does not work as planned? What if we sell only so much instead of that much?" That is the best way to debunk failure. Failure is a bad thing only if you let it. If you strap your boots and keep going, soon you will hit gold. After all, what is the worst thing that can happen to you? Fail? Come on, let's talk about something different. Leadership is about success. But there are times when leadership is about dealing with failure in a healthy manner without self-condemnation. Leadership is the art of apportioning success to failure.