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Melvin Durai Humour Column

Melvin Durai is a U.S.-based writer and humourist whose weekly columns are read by thousands of people in more than 90 countries.
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    The Olympics give us reason to hope

    If you're like most people, you didn't watch enough of the Beijing Olympics, partly because there were just too many events happening at the same time and partly because, having a full-time job, you had to spend a little time every morning coughing...
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    The shot heard around the world

    In case you missed the news, in case you were sleeping under a rock or just got released from Guantanamo, India won its first-ever individual gold medal at the Beijing Olympics, causing 1.1 billion people to jump up and down with joy, touching off a minor...
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    Good spelling saves some yelling

    Because I'm Indian, many people assume I'm good at spelling. After all, six of the last 10 winners of the National Spelling Bee are of Indian descent and three of them are now making millions on the PSA (Professional Spelling Association) tour...
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    Swap a kidney, but don't try to buy one

    Anyone want to swap a kidney? No, I don't need one, but Lois Wilson's husband, Dave, does. The British Columbia woman recently placed an ad on the classified site Craigslist, seeking another couple to swap kidneys with. Basically, if you need...
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    Appreciate Mandela while you can

    Nelson Mandela will turn 90 soon and, much to my dismay, his birthday has not been declared an international holiday. I have no choice but to declare it a personal holiday and spend it thinking about Mandela and the great example of his life, while sipping...
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    Column: Letter of appreciation to Tiger Woods

    Dear Tiger, My name is Baldev Singh (no relation to Vijay ) and I too play golf. You may have heard of me. Last month, I won the prestigious Iraq Open. Let me tell you, it was an amazing experience. I've never played on a course with so many bunkers...
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    Obama makes history in more ways than one

    Barack Obama has apparently clinched the Democratic Party's nomination for president, apparently gained enough delegates to ensure that he will run against John McCain to see who will spend the next four years looking totally incompetent. I say "apparently"...
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    Guidelines for travelers entering America

    A U.S. Appeals Court has ruled that airport officials do not need "reasonable suspicion" to download data from a traveler's laptop or personal electronic storage device and keep it indefinitely. Coincidentally, the Department of Homeland...
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    Nothing nice about rice price

    Rice is extremely popular in our household -- and I'm not talking about Condoleezza . I'm talking about the type of rice that looks warm and elegant at a dinner party. My wife cooks rice almost every day. And when she isn't cooking rice, she's...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    Olympics triggers protests, boycotts and name-calling

    The 2008 Beijing Olympics have put the spotlight on China, bringing attention to the conflict in Tibet and all the human rights abuses. Protesters disrupted Olympic torch relays in San Francisco and other western cities, many of them holding signs with...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    A vacation you're guaranteed to enjoy

    Dear Parent, Please forgive this intrusion on your time. I know how busy and challenging life can be when you have children. Kids are such a joy! I have three little ones myself and let me tell you, when I'm at work, I'm constantly looking at...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    Look up the dissidents, the Olympics are coming

    As the 2008 Summer Olympics approach, many people are scratching their heads and asking, "How in heaven's name was Beijing selected as the host city?" The answer is simple: Beijing was chosen because Baghdad was unavailable. Actually, the...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    Obama belongs to all of us

    I have a message for my African-American friends: Stop claiming Barack Obama as one of yours. He's not one of yours. He's one of OURS. In case you haven't checked, Obama isn't just black. He's half-black, half-white and half-Asian...
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    The billionaire's house that's helping everyone

    What kind of house does a billionaire build? Well, if you're Bill Gates, you build a $100 million, high-tech house that's full of modern amenities, such as a 17-by-60-foot swimming pool that plays music underwater, a reception hall that seats...
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    Too old to rule? Only if you drool

    Fidel Castro ruled Cuba for almost 50 years, but the 81-year-old is ailing, so it's not surprising that the presidency of the country has been officially passed to his youthful brother Raul, who is only 76. Raul's top vice president, Jose Ramon...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    Scientific research does wonders for our lives

    Where would we be without scientific research? Six feet under, probably. I say "probably" because some of us might still be moving around, the ones who've had their ashes scattered in the ocean. Yes, scientific research is vital to our existence...
  • Melvin Durai Humour Column

    The hardest job in the world

    Until I became a parent, I didn't know how challenging it could be. I thought it would be easy, like driving in New York City or getting all my teeth pulled. I thought I would just make the rules -- "Don't forget to tidy your room before...
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    A fight that's making boxing history

    Are you enjoying the big fight? I am. I lost interest in boxing in the 1990s, soon after Mike Tyson fell from grace, but I'm enjoying the sport once again, thanks to all the jabs and fancy footwork in this epic Obama-Clinton clash. The first round...
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    Don't say no-no to the Nano

    Here's some exciting news: The world's cheapest car will soon be hitting the roads of India. Tata Motors recently unveiled the Nano, a car that will surely make many middle-class people happy, particularly Hyundai owners, who will now feel like...
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    2008 will be a historic year

    As the new year begins, I'd like to take this opportunity to wish my loyal readers much happiness in 2008. I hope the year brings good health and prosperity to both of you. It's going to be a historic year, a year in which we'll see the first...
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    The children and the couch, a stained relationship

    My wife and I are in the market for a new couch. And by that I mean that she's looking for a piece of fine furniture that will enhance the decor of our living room, matching the other furnishings and creating an atmosphere of warmth and comfort, while...
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    Why gift when you can regift?

    If someone gives you a handbag you don't particularly like, what should you do with it? If you have a gift receipt or know which store it came from, you might be able to return it. But if you don't, you have three options: (1) Donate it to a thrift...
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    Dear Santa, I'm on your side

    Dear Santa, It’s been almost 365 days since I wrote to you and I want to begin by telling you that the gift you brought me last Christmas just didn’t cut it. I don’t know where you picked up that lousy beard trimmer. I guess it was silly of me to expect...
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    Hit the border, the dollar is up

    If you just inherited 100,000 dollars from a long-lost relative, you’d better hope it’s from the right country. If it’s Canadian dollars, you can throw a big party; if it’s American or Australian dollars, you can pop some champagne; and if it’s Zimbabwean...
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    No family reunion for Obama and Cheney

    Nothing has stunned me more this year than the news that presidential candidate Barack Obama and Vice President *** Cheney are related. It’s almost like hearing that Paris Hilton has decided to become a missionary. Or that she knows how to spell “missionary...
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