Pologamy

Pologamy is a man marrying more than one wife (2+ to be pricise). Which one is better dear collegues, a man with one wife and a chain of girl friends or a man with 4 wives and no girl friends. Please as we debate on this issue, let us put these 2 categories of men as real. Forget not to include HIV/AIDS issues as well in the debate.

Naaman (Mwanamulume)

A man with a wife and girlfriends is better because he will be responsible enough to be protected with his girlfriends. as for a man with 4 wives, that man when he is not satisfying the first or second, the fourth wife will be out with someone else. its a puzzle my friend.......let me think again i will get back to you

I feel its better to have wives than girlfriends because wives will have that kind of 'security' and will not be prone to mischief. Girlfriends on the other hand are in a state of 'confusion' because they do not know whether that married guy will divorce the wife ( They always fall for this promise !) or not so they will be in roaming mode and will sleep with whoever promises them eternal sanctuary. This makes them vulnerable to HIV/AIDS.

i think for sure, for one to accept to be a second or third wife, then she is desperate and desperate people are loses.  Better with girlfriends who are royal thinking at one time they will be a wife to that man, they will stick like glue to him.  But if you bring them home, they will always have the excuse that am the second or third wife, its better for me to have also a side partner to relieve my nights when he is with his other wives.

Let us not forget that one wife and no girlfriends leads to none of these problems.

 It is the evil of the world. I don't understand why a man would want to deal with two women. I have one girlo-friend and I can imagine having another (even though the idea sounds exhilarating). But it is our culture, no let me make that clear, it is the culture of some traditions among our people. No self respecting person would do that nowadays. But it is said that some men do. Look at the blog about Duncan Mushala that says he has married atleast three women and when he is done with them, she divorces them in local courts because the law in Zambia allows it.

AIDS has been perpetuated by this same tradition of ours. We need only see the number of people with AIDS to understand why plurality of wives (of husbands) has led to the continuing scourge of this disease. Personally, we should start with the basics; lets look closely at our cultures and see if we can stop the spread of this disease. We need to empower women so that they can have choices. Otherwise, our nation (including the 18% with AIDS) will disintegrate. And families like that of Duncan Mushala will continue to suffer. Let us rise up as Zambians to fight the spread of core issues that contribute to AIDS; such as polygamy and antiquated traditions.

 It is a terrible vice that we are noe seriously addressing. The time for change is now and we will not stand and watch, tradition or not, while women and children suffer. It not only contributes to the scourge of AIDS, but to many societal ills.